The Plan

How did we get here? Engagement pictures July 2008

Plans... They are essential to living a functional life with direction, but they can also be suffocating. When do our dreams turn into set in stone plans? I had a dream about how my life would go- I knew I would find my hubs in college, get married soon after and want to start a family early. But, if you would have asked me senior year of high school that college was UGA and the boy was someone not named Mike! Boy did the Lord change my plans, but I am so glad he did! I love reading my journal from senior year in high school and throughout freshman year of college because I can see the whole picture. I can connect the dots from teenage love to heartache to “get me the heck out of GA” to “Ok, I guess I’ll go to Baylor” to meeting the love of my life the first weekend in Waco… and you know the rest! Through all of that I rested in the perfect plan that the Lord had for me. It was something I could not see in the moment, but 6 years later (wow, I can’t believe its been 6 years!!) it is a beautiful picture, something I could never have orchestrated on my own. I am so thankful that I can rest in the peace of knowing that no matter my best efforts at planning, I have a savior who is guiding me. He knows what is best for me. In Jeremiah 29:11 God speaks to his people and he says “I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you.” That’s straight from his mouth guys… do you trust Him?

Even though I know that peace that comes from resting in the Lord, I still find myself making plans. Not that all planning is bad, we need direction in our lives! But planning without seeking the Lord is foolish. For example, two weeks ago I thought I was pregnant. Mike and I do natural family planning and for 1.5 years b.m (before Maddie) and almost a year a.m it’s been working wonderfully for us. I’ll do another post on how/why Mike and I made that decision 2 months into marriage and how it has changed out lives! Anywho, I was a couple days out from starting my period and I was so nauseated… for three days, felt exactly like morning sickness. I was exhausted, irritable and sick. I threw a temper-tantrum 2 year old style. I didn’t want to be pregnant, I was thinking about how hard it was going to be with an 18 month old and a newborn, I wanted to travel at thanksgiving and Christmas… “Me, me, me… it’s all about ME!” I didn’t want to take a test, I figured that ignorance was bliss! Mike loved me through it. I really just think he didn’t want to deal with my irrationality… wise hubs! Ironically, that Friday Mike had won tickets to a benefit concert for a pregnancy center here in DFW and we took our good friends the Widemans. God wanted me there; He knew what He was doing when Mike won those tickets on the radio! There were videos that played about girls who were considering abortions (just FYI, that wasn’t in the slightest a consideration for me!) and one of the captions during it said “You may not plan for a baby, but God does.” OUCH! Right there I was humbled, humiliated by my terrible attitude. Children are gifts from the Lord, blessing from Him… they are not unplanned inconveniences! Since then I’ve been reading in Jeremiah (jointhejourney.com) and have been hit with this nugget every day for the past two weeks: “We are to be obedient to the Lord, even if it’s not in our plan!” I am not pregnant, but that experience chipped away at my hard, stubborn, selfish heart.

“Trust in the Lord with all you heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”- Proverbs 3:5-6… can you believe I memorized this one back in February… and I still struggle!

I hope you can find peace in Him today! He has a PERFECT plan for your life... Give it up… It’s so much better when you’re not in control! Take it from a recovering plan-a-holic.